Michelle Rodriguez Explains Going “Crazy” After Paul Walker’s Death

Published on March 23, 2015.

Photo By: Gregorio T. Binuya/Everett Collection

The sudden death of actor Paul Walker after a car accident on November 30, 2013 shocked family, friends and fans around the world and none more so than his long time Fast and the Furious family.

Vin Diesel just revealed that he named his newborn daughter Pauline, after his late friend and co-star while Michelle Rodriguez also recently opened up about how she dealt with his death.

While promoting the latest installment in the franchise, Furious 7, the 36-year old told Entertainment Weekly that the year after his passing was one of her worst. “I actually went on a bit of a binge,” she stated. ” I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind.”

Rodriguez explained that her connection to Walker made his loss even more unbearable, causing her to go off the deep-end a little. “I could see Paul once every two years and just know there was another human on the planet who’s deep like me, who loves like that. When that disappears, you wonder, ‘Wait a minute, what do I hold on to?’ There was nothing to tether me to this existence: ‘Why am I f–king here? And, like, why’d you leave without me?'”

Rodriquez’s spiral included a fast paced and public relationship with model Cara Delevingne and then a romance with Zac Efron, as well as some hard partying with the likes of Justin Bieber. “I was pushing myself to feel. I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was traveling, and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling.”

Aside from some recent controversial comments, the actress has straightened up following that wild year after deciding to make a change. “I just woke up [one morning] with a profound respect for living. I stood tall one day and I said, ‘You know what, Michelle? Stop f–king hiding. Go manifest.’ And all of a sudden, I picked myself up and started hustling.”

Also Check Out: The 10 Most Shocking Celebrity Deaths Of The Past 5 Years