Things You Might Not Know About Jim Parsons And Todd Spiewak’s RelationshipPublished on February 14, 2018. Updated May 13, 2020
Jim Parsons is one of the most talented actors on TV and has found incredible success through his starring role as Sheldon Cooper on CBS’ The Big Bang Theory. Despite being at the top of TV fame, Parsons was remarkably skilled at keeping his personal life out of the spotlight and it wasn’t until 2012 that he publicly confirmed his relationship with his boyfriend of many years, Todd Spiewak. The adorable duo have since been more open about their relationship, and have shared many amazing photos of their life together and finally tied the knot in 2017! Get to know the couple better with these 12 things you never knew about Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak’s relationship:
12. How They Met
Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak met in mid-November 2002 thanks to a blind date set up by two important women in their lives. Spiewak’s boss at the time along with Parsons’ best friend from grad school decided the two would be a pretty good match so they set the two up on a date at a karaoke bar. Spiewak was working as a graphic designer in advertising at the time and Parsons was working on his acting resume, and despite Parsons not being a huge karaoke fan, there was an undeniable chemistry between the two. Spiewak said their connection “was pretty quick” and even sang Cher’s “I Found Someone” that night. In 2016, Parsons celebrated their 14th anniversary by sharing a photo of the two back then, and writing, “I met this guy (the one with the mic) 14 years ago today and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, no contest. One of his greatest gifts to me is that he no longer takes me to sing karaoke. Also, I believe this was a selfie with an actual camera, as our phones couldn’t do that back then hahaha! #todd #anniversary.”
I met this guy (the one with the mic) 14 years ago today and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, no contest. One of his greatest gifts to me is that he no longer takes me to sing karaoke. Also, I believe this was a selfie with an actual camera, as our phones couldn’t do that back then hahaha! #todd #anniversary
11. Coming Out
As he shot to international fame in 2007 as the first season of The Big Bang Theory aired, Jim Parsons was one of the most talked about actors in the industry, and through all of his publicity, he never talked about his personal life. Although he wasn’t in the closet, Parsons never spoke about his sexuality and it wasn’t until 2012 that he confirmed he was gay in an interview with the The New York Times. “Finally one day while working on Harvey [the play] I did a piece with Patrick Healy for The New York Times and he just point-blank asked, ‘Was working on The Normal Heart meaningful to you as a gay man?’ And I was like, ‘Well, yeah. Yeah.’ And what a wonderful… I can’t tell you what a wonderful thing that was, what a gift he gave me with one question. It was suddenly out there and official,” Parsons said of the avenue in which he publicly came out to fans.
10. Confirming The Relationship
By the time Parsons quietly came out publicly for the first time he had already been starring on The Big Bang Theory for five years and had been in a relationship with Todd for 10. In the same interview in which he confirmed he was gay, he confirmed his relationship for the very first time. “‘The Normal Heart’ resonated with him on a few levels: Mr. Parsons is gay and in a 10-year relationship, and working with an ensemble again onstage was like nourishment, he said,” the piece from The New York Times read. Later Parsons added that the piece not only publicly announced him as gay but also confirmed something many had been speculating since he shot into the spotlight — who Todd really was to him. “I never had a coming out piece. I just didn’t mention it. I took Todd with me to events. You never know when the topic is going to be broached, who knows,” Parsons explained of how important the article really was in revealing not only his sexuality but his most important relationship.
9. Hiding In Plain Sight
While there were assumptions and rumors about Parsons’ relationship status and sexuality over the years, it still took many by surprise when he confirmed he was gay and in a long-term relationship in 2012, but it wasn’t as though he and Spiewak were hiding. The actor was nominated for Best Actor in a Comedy Series at the Emmys in 2009 but took home the big award for the first time in 2010. Towards the end of his acceptance speech, he said, “And most of all, I love you, Mom,” which was followed by other names including a full shoutout to “Todd Spiewak,” yet at the time it went completely unnoticed. Prior to the event and after, the two attended several events together yet somehow always seemed to be overlooked until Parsons’ 2012 interview. OutMagazine‘s Jerry Portwood explained, Parsons [had] lived as a gay man in his private life, but in his professional public life he skirted the issue,” and Parsons admitted that he simply “just didn’t mention” being gay to the press before he was outright asked. In 2013, Parsons took home the Emmy for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for the third time and that time directly paid attention to his longtime love, saying, “I love…oh, my favorite person on Earth, Todd Spiewak.”
8. First Formal Appearance
In 2013, after attending many events together, the two made their first formal appearance since going public with their sexuality and relationship. In October 2013, the pair was honored by the LGBT youth advocacy organization GLSEN and were presented with the Inspiration Award at the Respect Awards. The event marked the first time the couple walked the red carpet and gave interviews together, but said at the time they had “no plans” to marry. “When Todd and I heard that we were so graciously being given this Inspiration Award, we were very flattered,” said Parsons, quipping, “We were also very confused.” He continued, “No offense, you know what I mean by that,” he said, turning to Spiewak with a smile. “Now all this said, no one is giving us an award for activism, I realize this. So if we are indeed an inspiration to others by simply being who we are and living our lives in the way that feels right to us, then we have to thank the same people who help any other couple who continue a successful relationship: our friends and family.”
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7. Dragging His Feet
As to be expected after Parsons and Spiewak took their relationship public after a decade together, they were constantly posed with the inevitable questions about marriage. In May 2014, Parsons sat down with Ellen DeGeneres where she grilled him about if he wanted to tie the knot to which he replied, “I don’t know!” and when she joked that 11 years was a lot of time to “know,” the actor became flustered and said Spiewak was probably watching the show, adding, “I’m not saying he’s been discouraging it, I’m not! I feel like I haven’t been enthusiastic enough about it, and now I feel like I’m a loser for the cause.” Two years later, Parsons was once again questioned, this time by Rosie Perez on The View, about why he and Spiewak weren’t rushing for marriage, and he revealed it just wasn’t high on their priority list. “You know what’s very funny to me? So much of my adult life, [marriage] wasn’t really a possibility. I have grown more interested in the idea and certainly supportive of the notion, and if my getting married would help the notion in general, even that might be enough to make me want to do it. My own personal interest in it has never been that high … I mean, both of us — we’re roughly the same age and we just didn’t grow up with that as a possibility. We have a very, very happy life,” he explained.
6. The Wedding
After dodging questions about plans of a wedding as well as a few engagement rumors. Parsons and Spiewak finally married on May 13, 2017, at the Rainbow Room in New York City. The two donned matching black tuxedos with pink boutonnieres and had the whole thing planned and officiated by their longtime friend Melissa McNeeley. “She’s our best friend, she was our wedding planner, she was our officiant and she played all three parts brilliantly this past Saturday: thank you and love you, @melissamcneeley (that Chuppah ain’t bad, either, @doan_ly !) photo cred @ambergressphotography,” Parsons captioned a photo of the three of them on the big day. Parsons’ on-screen love Mayim Bialik attended the event, saying, “Not a cell phone in sight. Everyone was so present which sounds pretentious but it was truly powerful for us all to just want to be there fully,” adding, “I tend to not be a real [big] wedding person … But this was special in a lot of ways … It was really nice to be at a Hollywood event that didn’t feel Hollywood in that sense.”
5. Normal Life
While Parsons might be one of TV’s biggest stars and Spiewak is a powerhouse in his profession, the two insist they live an absurdly normal life, but that is what makes things work so well. “I’ve never considered my relationship with Todd to be an act of activism,” Parsons said. “Rather simply, it’s an act of love, coffee in the morning, going to work, washing the clothes, taking the dogs [out] — a regular life, boring love.” Primarily the two live in New York City in the neighborhood of Gramercy Park, but also have a home in Los Angeles because of Parsons’ demanding filming schedule for The Big Bang Theory.
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4. Waiting 15 Years
Despite constant grilling about what was taking them so long to get hitched, Parsons and Spiewak did it on their own time and when they were ready, as it should be. After not announcing an engagement but having their wedding in May 2017, Parsons opened up about why they waited 15 years during a visit to The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. “We just didn’t care about the act of it that much, to be honest with you,” he said. “That sounds cold in a way but I finally thought: ‘Well, let’s have a party then for the celebration and we’ll go ahead and legalize this thing.’” He continued, “It was so much more meaningful in the moment for me than I predicted, and it’s been resonantly much more meaningful than for me afterward than I ever saw coming. You know, I had been an adult gay person for so long at a time where that wasn’t possible where life was ‘fine’ for me.” The actor then joked that the huge event of his wedding kept him up much later than he was used to, and he ended up getting sick! “I wasn’t too nervous, [it was] just a lot to organize and I thought, ‘Well, this will be sort of fun … Let’s get through this,’ then it was all fun […] It was the latest I stayed up in many years,” he added. “I’ll be honest with you — I’m still paying for it. I got a cold, I was at the doctor earlier and got antibiotics.”
3. Finding Love
In his interview with Stephen Colbert a few months after his wedding to his longtime love, Parsons joked, opened up about his relationship, and got very serious about the impact Todd’s love had on him. Although they had been together for 14 years before getting married, he admitted marriage subtly changed things. “I don’t know in a specific day-to-day sense what it is — I don’t know that there is anything. There is an underlying buzz of a thing,” he told Colbert. “And I keep reminding myself of it. Like, I kind of forget and then I’m like, ‘We really did it! We’re a legal thing, just like Mom and Dad were or whatever.’” He then explained that finding such an intense love and becoming married gave him a sensation he could only equate to God. “To be in love, to find a love in that way, is as close to anything I can imagine doing in life that brings me close to the feeling of God — or whatever that is for you,” he explained. “When we first got together, I remember lying in bed and closing my eyes but not being asleep. And that sensation of ‘light.’ I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on exactly, but it’s sort of close to eternal,’” Parsons continued. “My dad had passed a couple of years before I met Todd. And I remember very early on that sensation I would have when I closed my eyes and I felt that light, it was like, ‘Oh that’s him.’ He’s going like, ‘Hi, I see. All good. This is a great thing.’ And it both was and it wasn’t, obviously … but I still feel that now. Maybe not as often, because life gets in the way. But sometimes that sensation in closing the eyes and going, ‘This is so close to God.’” When he said he didn’t know any other word to explain it, Colbert aptly summed it up for him, telling him it was simply “love.”
2. Tackling the Media
The couple might not be the most open celebrity duo out there, but they have no problem sharing the things they want with fans through interviews and social media, and they have made it quite clear they will not stand for tabloid rumors about their relationship. The National Enquirer has taken to reporting on the popular actor’s personal life with often untrue stories, and after the tabloid reported that Parsons and Spiewak were looking for a surrogate mother so they could start a family and even reportedly approached Neil Patrick Harris for advice as he and his husband David Burtka had successfully welcomed twins via surrogate, Parsons had enough and spoke out against the claims. “I’ve been in three stories [in the Enquirer] that I know of: one was that I was engaged to Todd, my partner, and that was a few years ago, right after I’d won an Emmy, and they said that it was on Emmy night and that I’d said, ‘You know, the only thing that would make this sweeter is if you’d marry me.’ First off, they get enough facts right about who is who that everyone in your family calls, ‘Would you like to tell us something?’ ‘No, I don’t want to tell you anything!’ So that’s not true at all.” He continued, “A few months later they printed a story that said it was off, the marriage is off because Todd wants children and Jim doesn’t. Not true. Well, not ‘not true’, but there was no wedding to call off, but I was less interested in children and still am…The most recent one is that we’re gonna get a surrogate. My favorite part of that one was that I had gotten counseling from Neil Patrick Harris and Neil had told me that I could do it, that I can handle [fatherhood]. Now I’m friendly with Neil, but I’ve never seen the inside of Neil’s house – he’s certainly not counseling me on surrogate children!”
1. Working Together
There is no stronger bond than a couple who can live and work together, and Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak are one of those couples! Together, the two founded That’s Wonderful Productions. The company oversees production in television, theater, and film, and took on the popular YouTube series Prodigies. “I knew within a few minutes of viewing my first episode of Prodigies that I wanted to be a part of the team bringing the digital series to a wider audience via television,” Parsons said in a statement. “Spending time with these geniuses, these children, soaring and struggling with their gifts and their talents is inspiring and entertaining in a way that great television is. Prodigies reveals something about the human spirit with such joy and insight, which is why it achieved such a passionate following on the Internet. I think there are many more people out there that will find this irresistible, like I do,” Parsons said alongside his producing partner, and real life partner, Todd Spiewak.