The Big Bang Theory: Bernadette’s Funniest QuotesPublished on January 29, 2016. Updated June 16, 2020
The Big Bang Theory made a great move when it introduced new main characters in Amy and Bernadette, the girlfriends of Sheldon and Howard. At first the character of Bernadette Rostenkowski expertly portrayed by Melissa Rauch seemed to be a quiet and somewhat humorless character, but she has proved audiences very wrong over the various seasons, getting funnier and funnier each time. Check out Bernadette’s 10 Funniest Quotes!
10. Season 6, Episode 18
Bernadette: Well it’s simple. This was my idea, I’m driving, I’m Cinderella. You b–ches got a problem with that, we can stop the car right now.
Bernadette: That’s true. Every one of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me, see what happens.
9. Season 7, Episode 18
Leonard: “You don’t go into science for the money.”
Bernadette: “Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!”
8. Season 8, Episode 8
Stuart: “Oh, so she’s good enough for Howard but not for me?”
Bernadette: “Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.”
7. Season 6, Episode 9
Amy: “I’ll drive. You can see where the tow truck scratched my car.”
Bernadette: “The tow truck didn’t scratch your car.”
Amy: “How do you know?”
Bernadette: “Cause I did it!”
6. Season 5, Episode 21
Bernadette: “Sheldon doesn’t know when he’s being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.”
5. Season 9, Episode 4
Bernadette: “Hey, if you’re open to living with someone great, I’ll give you $1,000 to take Stuart.”
Amy: “You really should’ve gone on the internet and checked how long that kind of thing lives before you got one.”
Bernadette: “I’m sorry. I just thought you might have a pasty, weirdo-shaped hole in your life.”
4. Season 8, Episode 5
Penny: “That sounds great but I have a little more studying to do.”
Amy: “Can you believe this nerd?”
Bernadette: “Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man’s G-string like a baby kangaroo.”
3. Season 5, Episode 10
Bernadette: “I’m too small for Twister. And roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.”
2. Season 7, Episode 5
Amy: “I’m leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralyzing fear in monkeys.”
Bernadette: “If they’re anything like humans, the answer is yes.”
Amy: “You’ve done this experiment on humans?”
Bernadette: “You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.”
1. Season 10, Episode 18
Howard: “I don’t need butter.”
Bernadette: “If you want butter, I’ll get ya butter.”